Good News!

On October 27, 2010 we met with my oncologist up at the Huntsman. I had gotten my CT scan on Monday and we were going into see him for the results. I was quite calm the entire weekend leading up to the tests, until the day we were to receive the news. We were both quite nervous and excited. It had been a rough three months with a lot of ups and downs.
We sat down and grace the Physician Assistant told us that there was one tumor in my abdominal area that had grown 2mlm in 6 months (which is amazing considering back in February to May most of them had grown 2-3mlm in 3 months). She then said that a couple of them had shrunk a bit and that all of the others were stable (they hadn't grown in 6 months). She then said they didn't feel like we needed to do chemotherapy at this time and that I didn't need to come in for another check up for 4 months instead of 3! She did an exam and I told her that I knew I was going to get better from this and that I was going to beat it...she replied saying that I wasn't going to, but that she would like me to keep proving her wrong like I have been! I told her I planned on it! She said to keep eating healthy, exercise and to keep proving her wrong! At the end of my consultation my oncologist Dr. Gauw said to us while shaking his head "I don't know what it is you are doing, but whatever it is keep doing it because it's working"! That to me was a payday, and it's made it all worth it!
While walking away from our consultation I was overcome with joy and peace. We have been working so hard everyday for this. Yes it has been a difficult yet rewarding journey, and yes I know we still have a ways to go...but we are on the right path. I know it. I feel it. I live it. Thank you to everyone for your love, support, prayers, faith and hope...it's seriously helped us more then you will ever know.

7 days

Just in case anyone is interested, I thought I'd share with you what I eat in 7 days. Keep in mind that the only solid foods that I eat are tomatoes, avocados, and cucumbers, everything else is pureed, yumm! :)

21 avocados
2.5lb. bag of spinach
14 limes
21 cucumbers
28 scoops green drink powder
6 bottles of chlorophyll
7 gallons of water
1-2 quarts almond milk
sea salt (a lot)
4 onions
8 cloves garlic
25-30 tomatoes
occasionally zucchini, and celery
91 T. oil (yes, I drink it)

And that's all folks! This has been my diet for 3 months! If you asked me a year ago if I would have eaten like this I would have looked at you and laughed! Fortunately I have changed...people can change. We all have choices, we all have free will...we all have the power to make a difference especially in our own lives. By doing this I am hoping for a better tomorrow, and a better me.

Living

I'm Living. Eating. Breathing. Playing. Listening. Crying. Walking. Engaging. Laughing. Balancing. Accomplishing. Wanting. Talking. Loving. Making Memories. Creating. Driving. Laundering. Canning. Smiling. Hugging. Enjoying. Hearing. Singing. Hurting. Yearning. Praising. Celebrating. Wondering. Achieving. Exercising. Alkalizing. Hoping. Watching. Disagreeing. Mending. Learning. Feeling. Questioning. Holding. Being Held. Caring. Doing. Praying. Being. I'm Living. Each day, Each moment, Each breath, Each second, I'm Living...and I'm Happy.

I Am a Child of God

I am a Child of God, and He
has sent me here,
has given me an earthly home
with parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me,
walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
to live with Him someday.

I sing this song to Noah almost every night. (He actually sings along with me.) It is a beautiful song with an amazing message. The lyrics give me comfort and remind me that He has given us so many blessings. I want to live with Him someday.

A new phase

As many of you know I've been doing an Alkaline diet for the last 4 1/2 months. I was following The Body Ecology diet, and protocol. In the beginning of this diet I was extremely ill. My body was going through a "healing crisis". I was exhausted, cranky (so sorry Andy), and worn down. I also lost about 15 pounds. Slowly but surely I began to get stronger and stronger. I felt more balanced and really started loving the lifestyle change. When we went back in May to the Huntsman and didn't see any changes we knew we needed to reevaluate the course of action we were taking.
Andy started researching a couple of different alternative therapies. We had a consultation scheduled for a Dr. out in North Carolina, and then a good friend of mine called me and told me to watch this clip on you tube about a Dr. Robert Young. After watching it I started researching him and his protocol. Out of the 2 Dr's. I felt that Dr. Youngs protocol made more sense and it felt right. On July 2, I had the amazing opportunity to meet with Dr. Young, he wrote The PH Miracle Diet. He also did a live blood cell analysis, which was fascinating. He gave me some guidelines that I will be following for the next 3 months. Today is actually my 9th day, and for the most part I feel really good. For the next 81 days I will be on a "liquid feast". Which means that everything I consume is pureed (certain veggies), and I am allowed to eat tomatoes, cucumbers, and avocados, in moderation. I do a combination of diet, exercise, massage, sauna, colonics, and sunshine...as well as supplements.
Overall, I've had good days and some rough days...life has been made much easier by loving friends and family who have reached out to help make our load lighter, thank you! I have been humbled and been brought to my knees, thanking Heavenly Father for this opportunity...that I may learn and become what He would like me to be. I am excited to be on this journey and am thrilled to have the ability to do this process. I know it is the right path for me to follow. I am blessed by a loving husband who works so hard taking care of me and our babies. He makes our lives easier. One thing is certain that I know with all of my being is that God lives, and he will not leave us alone. May God continue to watch over us all, may we let Him in. May we always find hope in our lives.

The best thing ever..

Each night when it's time for bed, when stories and scriptures have been read, we say "Night, night" to Ella and Daddy, give hugs and kisses. Noah comes with me in his room and Ella stays with Daddy to read a story (Noah insists on me putting him to bed, which I love). I wrap Noah up in his blanket and he has to have his "baby" with him (which is a white lamb), and a drink. I rock him in the rocking chair and ask him what his favorite part of the day was. He says things like Grammy, Papa, Ella, Daddy, swing, pool, play. We talk about his day and what he did. Sometimes I have know idea what he's saying, but we carry on talking with each other. I then sing him lullabies, and before he falls asleep I tell him that he is the best thing that has ever happened to Momma and Daddy. I kiss his sweet head, and face, gently lay him in his crib, tell him I love him, and walk out of the room.
Next stop Ellas. She is usually playing quietly waiting for me. I get her situated and ask her what her favorite part of the day was. She says things like being with her cousins, spending time together as a family, being outside. She tells me what she has done that day, and the things that she would like to do another day. We talk. It is quiet. No noise, just the two of us, we are connected. I ask her what lullaby she wants me to sing...even though I already know which one she will choose. I sing "Lullaby, don't you cry, go to sleep little baby...I touch her face, outlining it with my fingers. I move the hair out of her eyes, and she smiles. She touches my face, and rubs my arm. After a few minutes of singing I tell her that she is the best thing that has ever happened to Momma and Daddy. She gets a huge smile on her face and usually says that she knows! I tell her I love her to the moon and back and she says the same to me. We hug and I kiss her face and head. "Night, night", I say as I walk out of her room. I smile, so thankful our kids know they are the best things that has ever happened to us.

Beauty, is in the eye of the beholder

After my first consultation with my first oncologist 3 1/2 years ago, my biggest concern was, When was I going to lose my hair? His answer: 14 days. At the time that was forefront on my mind, and a major concern. I started my first infusion and was sick, tired, and sick some more. Each day would be 1 day closer to the magic number 14. It was like a count down. I first began noticing a bit falling out when I was in the shower, or brushing it, or when I would pull it back more came out. I had it cut to my shoulders, and had our good friend Jon Canlas come over and take photos of our family to help me remember what I looked like, what we looked like together.
Before day 14 I'd finally had enough. I told Andy I was ready for him to shave it off! He looked at me surprised, and said okay. We waited until Ella was asleep and I sat down at the kitchen table. He got his clippers and started cutting. He made a mullet first (for some strange reason I think mullet's are hilarious) we took some photos, and laughed a lot. My brother Matt wanted me to email him the photos, I told him there was no way in hell I was going to do that! Then Andy gave me a buzz... I thought that I would cry, but I didn't. It was invigorating, I was in control, I was bald, so what! I was still me! I will always remember that moment because Andy and I embraced, he took my head in his hands and kissed my bald head. I have never felt more beautiful in my entire life then when I was bald...This may seem strange to hear, but it is true.