My Baby

Dear Ella,
My beautiful baby girl. I remember the first day I saw you. I knew that my life would be SO much better then it had been, and it is! You were a sweet bundle of Joy, and you still are. You teach me everyday by your example. The other morning I was busy getting ready for the day. The door was open to your room and I heard you talking. I peeked in, and you were kneeling on the floor talking to Heavenly Father. My heart burst, and I walked back to my room, knelt down and followed your example. thank you for reminding me of what's important.
My baby. when I talk to you about being my "big girl" you are quick to remind me that you will always be "my baby"! You always will, no matter what age you are, and I will always be your Momma.
I want you to know how special you are. I know that God sent you to us for a reason, and I am honored to be your Momma. You are so sensitive to the spirit, mindful of others, and loving toward all. You are such a good sister and friend! Little Noah adores you, and wants to be just like you!
I am reminded each day just how thoughtful you are. No matter what I'm doing you are always asking if you can help! You happily set the table, sweep the floor, help me make my shake. I'm so proud of you, and thank you for wanting to help!
I want to thank you for always asking God for my cancer to go away, the first time you said that I cried...you are so young, and know to much already. I know that your Faith, has helped me feel better. I love you my little one. I love you my angel. You're the best thing that has every happened to me, my sweet baby. Never forget how special you are and how much are are loved. I am blessed that I get to spend everyday with you. I wouldn't want it to be any other way. Love you to the moon and back Ella.

Love Momma

Broccoli

A couple of weeks ago I decided it was time to start adding some other veggies to my diet (don't worry I'm still drinking my 4 quarts of green drink), actually it was Andy's idea. That was Andy's first question for me after we saw my Oncologist; "When are you going to start eating?" Lol!
I decided the first veggie would be broccoli because I used to dream about eating it! I know that sounds crazy, but when you're eating the same thing everyday things start sounding really good! So, I steamed it for 3 minutes, drizzled olive oil on it, added real salt, and pepper, took a bite and....it was AMAZING! So delicious, and sweet! I was surprised that the flavor was so mild and tasted like heaven! I couldn't get enough of it! I of course took it slow because I wasn't sure how my body was going to react to eating it. I responded fine...a little gassy (sorry Andy). I never knew how flavorful broccoli was. I. Love. It. SO happy to be eating again. I also tried cabbage, red pepper, romaine lettuce, green beans, celery, zucchini, snap peas, and they were all SO good! I think I'll try Kale next...who knows, it might be just as sweet and tantalizing as Broccoli!

Good News!

On October 27, 2010 we met with my oncologist up at the Huntsman. I had gotten my CT scan on Monday and we were going into see him for the results. I was quite calm the entire weekend leading up to the tests, until the day we were to receive the news. We were both quite nervous and excited. It had been a rough three months with a lot of ups and downs.
We sat down and grace the Physician Assistant told us that there was one tumor in my abdominal area that had grown 2mlm in 6 months (which is amazing considering back in February to May most of them had grown 2-3mlm in 3 months). She then said that a couple of them had shrunk a bit and that all of the others were stable (they hadn't grown in 6 months). She then said they didn't feel like we needed to do chemotherapy at this time and that I didn't need to come in for another check up for 4 months instead of 3! She did an exam and I told her that I knew I was going to get better from this and that I was going to beat it...she replied saying that I wasn't going to, but that she would like me to keep proving her wrong like I have been! I told her I planned on it! She said to keep eating healthy, exercise and to keep proving her wrong! At the end of my consultation my oncologist Dr. Gauw said to us while shaking his head "I don't know what it is you are doing, but whatever it is keep doing it because it's working"! That to me was a payday, and it's made it all worth it!
While walking away from our consultation I was overcome with joy and peace. We have been working so hard everyday for this. Yes it has been a difficult yet rewarding journey, and yes I know we still have a ways to go...but we are on the right path. I know it. I feel it. I live it. Thank you to everyone for your love, support, prayers, faith and hope...it's seriously helped us more then you will ever know.

7 days

Just in case anyone is interested, I thought I'd share with you what I eat in 7 days. Keep in mind that the only solid foods that I eat are tomatoes, avocados, and cucumbers, everything else is pureed, yumm! :)

21 avocados
2.5lb. bag of spinach
14 limes
21 cucumbers
28 scoops green drink powder
6 bottles of chlorophyll
7 gallons of water
1-2 quarts almond milk
sea salt (a lot)
4 onions
8 cloves garlic
25-30 tomatoes
occasionally zucchini, and celery
91 T. oil (yes, I drink it)

And that's all folks! This has been my diet for 3 months! If you asked me a year ago if I would have eaten like this I would have looked at you and laughed! Fortunately I have changed...people can change. We all have choices, we all have free will...we all have the power to make a difference especially in our own lives. By doing this I am hoping for a better tomorrow, and a better me.

Living

I'm Living. Eating. Breathing. Playing. Listening. Crying. Walking. Engaging. Laughing. Balancing. Accomplishing. Wanting. Talking. Loving. Making Memories. Creating. Driving. Laundering. Canning. Smiling. Hugging. Enjoying. Hearing. Singing. Hurting. Yearning. Praising. Celebrating. Wondering. Achieving. Exercising. Alkalizing. Hoping. Watching. Disagreeing. Mending. Learning. Feeling. Questioning. Holding. Being Held. Caring. Doing. Praying. Being. I'm Living. Each day, Each moment, Each breath, Each second, I'm Living...and I'm Happy.

I Am a Child of God

I am a Child of God, and He
has sent me here,
has given me an earthly home
with parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me,
walk beside me.
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
to live with Him someday.

I sing this song to Noah almost every night. (He actually sings along with me.) It is a beautiful song with an amazing message. The lyrics give me comfort and remind me that He has given us so many blessings. I want to live with Him someday.

A new phase

As many of you know I've been doing an Alkaline diet for the last 4 1/2 months. I was following The Body Ecology diet, and protocol. In the beginning of this diet I was extremely ill. My body was going through a "healing crisis". I was exhausted, cranky (so sorry Andy), and worn down. I also lost about 15 pounds. Slowly but surely I began to get stronger and stronger. I felt more balanced and really started loving the lifestyle change. When we went back in May to the Huntsman and didn't see any changes we knew we needed to reevaluate the course of action we were taking.
Andy started researching a couple of different alternative therapies. We had a consultation scheduled for a Dr. out in North Carolina, and then a good friend of mine called me and told me to watch this clip on you tube about a Dr. Robert Young. After watching it I started researching him and his protocol. Out of the 2 Dr's. I felt that Dr. Youngs protocol made more sense and it felt right. On July 2, I had the amazing opportunity to meet with Dr. Young, he wrote The PH Miracle Diet. He also did a live blood cell analysis, which was fascinating. He gave me some guidelines that I will be following for the next 3 months. Today is actually my 9th day, and for the most part I feel really good. For the next 81 days I will be on a "liquid feast". Which means that everything I consume is pureed (certain veggies), and I am allowed to eat tomatoes, cucumbers, and avocados, in moderation. I do a combination of diet, exercise, massage, sauna, colonics, and sunshine...as well as supplements.
Overall, I've had good days and some rough days...life has been made much easier by loving friends and family who have reached out to help make our load lighter, thank you! I have been humbled and been brought to my knees, thanking Heavenly Father for this opportunity...that I may learn and become what He would like me to be. I am excited to be on this journey and am thrilled to have the ability to do this process. I know it is the right path for me to follow. I am blessed by a loving husband who works so hard taking care of me and our babies. He makes our lives easier. One thing is certain that I know with all of my being is that God lives, and he will not leave us alone. May God continue to watch over us all, may we let Him in. May we always find hope in our lives.