Wishes for you

Do you know what's hard? Watching my son act out while I'm doing my treatment...because he doesn't know how to handle Mommy being sick...heart wrenching actually.  Tonight, I silently was talking to myself in my head, after a particularly difficult day..."I can't do this. I am so sick, I am so tired, this is so hard." As these thoughts were running through my head, my boy climbed into my lap. He was happy to have me hold him...just hold him. I prayed for strength, and that I don't mess up my kids lives, from being so ill, while they are young. I want them to have a happy and memorable childhood. I wish, I wish, I wish, that they didn't have to see me like this....but that won't take it away. It's now. It's time. I'm living it...and I will make it. And, I will hold my babies more, even if I am sick...and I will do it. My best. For them, for them, and for me. Even if it is hard. I will do it. I will live it. I will be. I can do hard things. A new sunrise will come tomorrow, it will be a fresh, clean day...and I will live it. I know I can.

Giving back

Justin and his sweet family


Justin with his siblings and Mom


We have been blessed beyond words these past 6 years. We have received an outpouring of  love, hope, prayers, and kindness. It is hard to express the gratitude we have felt many times in our hearts. Many, many times we weren't even aware of who has reached out...
A few years ago, in December, I was in the kitchen, and there was a loud knock at the door. It took me a minute to get there, but when I did open it there were boxes and boxes of food, gifts, money. I was in shock, just standing with the door wide open...tears of pure joy running down my cheeks. My sweet  neighbor stopped by at that moment and said: "Someone really, really loves you, and is watching out for you." I nodded in agreement.  Angels stopped by our home that day, and left a mark on my heart.
 I had gotten my scans. The news was not good, more tumors had grown, and others had gotten bigger. We were beside ourselves with what to do. I definitely didn't want to do chemotherapy again...we did not have the resources to do an alternative treatment we were wanting to do. With heavy hearts we turned to God, asking for some direction. The next day I went to go get our mail. On our front porch was a white envelope...inside was the exact amount I needed to complete my treatment. Was this a coincidence  No...again, so thankful.
Time, after time, after time experiences like this have happened to our family. We have been shown the pure love of Christ. I am so grateful that people have listened...have followed there hearts in helping human beings who are in need of help. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Andy and I have always talked about paying it forward. And, while it may not always be monetary, it will be in love...kindness, respect...a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, in being a friend...Right now, some friends of ours are in need. My brother in law Matt Hargreaves has a brother named Justin. A few years ago, he survived a stroke, which led to an  anuerysm. He is now in a motorized wheelchair, and his left side is paralyzed. He has a sweet wife and daughter to take care of. He is blessed to be alive. He cannot drive, they have a used van with a lift. It has broken down several times, and is not working at this time. The Hargreaves family are having a silent auction, and a yard sale to raise money for their brother and his family.  To be able to buy a more reliable van, with a proper lift, and help their family regain some of their independence. If you are interested in helping the Hargreaves family in any way, please read his story here: http://getjustinontheroadagain.blogspot.com/, they are accepting items to sell at the yard sale, and any auction items you might be willing to give or you can donate directly through PayPal by following the link. They will be having the sale on Saturday, October 20, 2012 in Salt Lake City, Utah. If anything, please come out to support this great cause, if you have a moment.
I cannot tell you how good it feels to give. To have the blessing to pay it forward in some small way. I hope we can take the time to look around us and see who may need our help. Stop for a moment, in our busy and rushed day to help. Honestly, the kindness of others to our family has changed us for the better.  We can all make such a huge difference in this life. What an amazing gift we have been given...in giving back.