datestampThursday, April 29, 2010


Once in a while I feel this overwhelming sadness. It comes from deep within and comes out of my soul and body. I feel overpowered by it, almost knocking me down. I have this surge of emotion where I feel and think a million things at once...My mind is usually racing with thoughts of; "What Ifs?", doubt, worry, and grief...followed by tears of sadness and loneliness...and then the word "remember" comes to my mind. I remember the many blessings which I have received that have given me words of comfort. I remember the promises given in those blessings upon my being faithful. I remember that I'm not alone. I remember that God is with me and will not leave. My tears stop, because I've remembered...followed by peace.

datestampWednesday, April 21, 2010


This past Saturday I was privileged to be able to attend the Hope For Sarah garage sale. There was one in Payson and in Orem. I call it a privilege because I was able to meet so many amazing and wonderful people. I was surrounded by loving family and friends who spent an entire Saturday donating their time and treasures for me and my family. They had everything there you could possibly imagine from hand dipped chocolate covered oreo's (thanks Candi) to pink disposable razors that sold like hotcakes! We were able to learn a lot of good skills from our top saleswoman Linda, who actually sold a box of razors to a bald man! I was also able to talk to quite a few people who themselves are struggling to fight cancer or have a loved one fighting. I was humbled that so many people cared and were so willing to help. I shed many tears that day, and my heart is overflowing with love. My daughter Ella asked me several times why they were having a sale. I told her it was to help Mama get better. That night in her prayers she said: "Thank you for the garage sale, and for all of the people who helped." I feel pretty lucky, and better already.

datestampSunday, April 11, 2010


Time. I think about this word often, maybe to much. It goes on with or without you. Moment to moment. Breath to breath. How am I spending it? What am I doing with it? What have I done with it? Time. We only have so much of it. Some longer then others, some shorter then others. It is so precious. Cancer has helped me to hug a little tighter, love a little harder, cry a bit easier, say I'm sorry quicker, hold my babies a little longer, and sing just one more lullaby Mama, and when that one is over then sing again. Time. What do you do with it?

datestampThursday, April 1, 2010

Some days I feel like this...

A week after we heard the news from my PET scan I started a new diet. I jumped in full force and have hardly looked back...well to be honest the first few weeks I dreamed of doughnuts a lot! The diet is called an Alkaline diet. I have known about this type of diet for years but never had the desire to do is why: I can only eat land and ocean vegetables, almonds, unrefined oils, quinoa, millett, amaranth, and most seeds and herbs. Which has been very difficult some days, but worth it. I've been completely off of Dairy, Meats, Grains and Sugar for 31 days. Looking back on this month I am amazed and relieved that I've been able to do it. Since starting I've learned a lot of different ways to cook vegetables and they taste good! Which has been exciting for me because I love food and finding new recipes.
I'm planning on doing this phase of the diet for 3 months, and we will see where I am at that time and how I'm feeling. I have felt very strongly that I needed to change what I was putting into my body. I've asked Heavenly Father to heal my body, and in doing so I feel a great responsibility with how I am taking care of myself, and what I am eating. My Dad always taught me that "God helps those who help themselves." I know that this is true.