datestampSaturday, August 11, 2012


I close my eyes, but sleep doesn't come. My mind continues to race, around, and around. I am so tired, so very tired. My body aches, my oxygen machine in the next room, is helping me take full breaths, it reminds me of a heartbeat. pumping. I have to slow down, for a time. I have to ask for help from others, even though I'm used  to doing things myself...I can't.  Everywhere I go in this house, this machine follows me (or I follow it)...for 3 days. 72 hours. At times I catch myself counting down the minutes, till I am free...but I remind myself, it is only for a moment. I've realized, that I need people. I need help.  I am humbled each time, brought down to my thanks to God. Really.  For all of the amazing gifts I've been given. For the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Is this hard? Extremely. Is it worth it? Yes.Would I do it again? Yes. Anything to live. Anything. This life is so worth living. Do you know what I look forward to doing soon?  Walking outside, and taking a breathe of fresh air...on my own.