Healing

I get to hold a little piece of heaven almost everyday.  I smother him with kisses. Hold him against my heart and listen to him giggle. Sometimes he snuggles me, and I swear he is hugging me! As soon as I see him he brightens up the room with his smile. We are connected.  He is not my baby...but he is healing my heart.  A while ago I mentioned in one of my posts that I longed for another child, and knew I would not have one again on this earth. Which is hard sometimes, but I am living. My sweet sister had a beautiful baby boy a few months ago. We were all thrilled for her...

A while back as we were sitting together with her new babe I told her something that was on my heart and mind since he was born. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, or think it's weird, but I feel like you had this baby for me too. I get to hold him, love him, kiss him, feel his sweet spirit and soul. He is healing my heart...God gave me a gift through you." Being the lovely and in tune sister she is, she said she was so happy she could "share" him with me...she knew this sweet spirit was here to help me too. He is oh so young, but has accomplished much in his short life. How grateful I am for this blessed chance I get to love and hold on to him for little moments...What an honor it is for me to be in his life. Peace has surrounded my soul. Healing engulfs my heart...living feels so good.

Life is good, even when it's hard.

Sometimes life brings us a pay day and when they come I soak it all in...today was one of those days.  For months we have been working with the kids to learn how to ride their bikes on their own. They just weren't interested in it. Last week my sweet Ella had her friends over to play.  They took off her training wheels themselves (tools and all) and were teaching her the things she needed to do.  I stood back and let it happen. I've noticed if I say too much then she usually backs down, so I watched.  She tried a few times and the excitement puttered out and they were onto something different.  The next day I'd told Andy about her adventure. He asked her if he could see her ride and she said sure. She got onto her bike and was a bit wobbly at first. Andy held onto her seat and talked with her...soon she was trying.  Again and again and again...and then it came, she was off Andy running next to her.  I was screaming and clapping; you're doing it baby girl, you're doing it! I was so happy.  We were thrilled!  Noah saw his sister and he ran to his Daddy and told him he wanted his wheels off too! After 3 times of falling and getting up again he did it, he was riding on his own! I probably looked like a lunatic from how excited I was yelling and jumping up and down! We loaded our bikes in the truck and headed out to an open space.  All of us got on our bikes and road around together. It was nice to just be.
I was so proud of my sweet husband teaching our babies how to ride a bike.  Grateful I was blessed to be apart of this moment that I'll never forget, and most likely they won't either. Proud that they didn't give up, and kept going....until they reached their goal.  Grateful I could watch them learn something new.  Thankful to have the blessing to be alive in that moment. To feel what I was feeling.  Pure. Joy. Peace in knowing that life is good, even when it's hard...it's still good.