datestampFriday, July 2, 2010

Beauty, is in the eye of the beholder

After my first consultation with my first oncologist 3 1/2 years ago, my biggest concern was, When was I going to lose my hair? His answer: 14 days. At the time that was forefront on my mind, and a major concern. I started my first infusion and was sick, tired, and sick some more. Each day would be 1 day closer to the magic number 14. It was like a count down. I first began noticing a bit falling out when I was in the shower, or brushing it, or when I would pull it back more came out. I had it cut to my shoulders, and had our good friend Jon Canlas come over and take photos of our family to help me remember what I looked like, what we looked like together.
Before day 14 I'd finally had enough. I told Andy I was ready for him to shave it off! He looked at me surprised, and said okay. We waited until Ella was asleep and I sat down at the kitchen table. He got his clippers and started cutting. He made a mullet first (for some strange reason I think mullet's are hilarious) we took some photos, and laughed a lot. My brother Matt wanted me to email him the photos, I told him there was no way in hell I was going to do that! Then Andy gave me a buzz... I thought that I would cry, but I didn't. It was invigorating, I was in control, I was bald, so what! I was still me! I will always remember that moment because Andy and I embraced, he took my head in his hands and kissed my bald head. I have never felt more beautiful in my entire life then when I was bald...This may seem strange to hear, but it is true.


Marissa said...

You have such a great attitude and perspective. You are so right taking control of your life is what makes you strong and beautiful. I love you!

Sara said...

Sarah, it me sara (thurber) Charlyn's friend. I hope you remember me. Hey you look beautiful. Just to let you know I am going through chemo right now, too. i was diagnosed in April with Breast Cancer. I have have had two treatments and I am currently bald as well. I finally gave up cleaning all the strands off the floor. You know how that goes. On day 16 I shaved it off. I tried to hold on to my hair for all long as I could, but it soon became borthersome. I read you blog often. my blog address is
take care and I think of you offten.

Valerie said...

Bald IS beautiful!!! That saying has a whole new meaning to me now.

Valerie said...

I've been trying to find an email address for you. I thought you might like to know that Amy Jackson, my sister-in-law who has also been battling cancer, passed away on Saturday, July 3rd. You had left a comment on her blog a while back (

Sarah said...

Valerie, I am so sorry that Amy died. I never met her, but felt like I knew her thru her story, and experience. May God be with you and all of her family.

Ruby Villain said...

I am a stranger, I just found your blog. I'm sorry I lurk, but this blog entry is so beautiful, it made me cry. I hope the best for you and your family. Sorry to lurk.

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