The Mundane

Today was busy,  to some it may sound mundane...driving to and from lessons, carpool, laundry, impromptu breakfast with extended family, visiting, grocery shopping, homework, fixing lunch, dinner, carpool again.. at our final lesson I was able to sit still and watch my babies and nephews at their swim lessons. I was alone, while they were in the pool with their teacher. Smiling happy faces, so excited to show me what they were accomplishing. In a split second It was as if the room stood still for a moment and my heart swelled up. Tears came to my eyes and I felt gratitude. Gratitude that I was able to be there, right in the moment. No phone. No distractions. Just me and my sweet side kicks. I felt pure joy for the opportunity.  Immediately I whispered a thank you to Heavenly Father for the gift of living this day. For these moments I could feel joy! It felt so good to be there. A part of their life's. How lucky am I to get to be able to be busy and do the mundane things of life? I am so lucky. I love living. Love it.

5 days

 My MRI results finally came back this afternoon, after 5 long days. No new tumors, all other tumors are stable. I can breathe. Tears roll down my cheeks. I said a small prayer thanking God for this gift. I was out and about when I received the news. I called my Dad, and then the tears really came, flowing. I am not ashamed to show my heart...I always wear it on my sleeve. How do I express the thoughts from my soul? From my heart? Thank you. Thank you my friends for making this Cancer I carry on my back lighter, that I cannot feel how heavy it can be on my soul. As soon as I'm able, I kneel down in prayer before my God and weep. He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He heard you. I thank Him...and like you, I feel like thank you doesn't adequately express how I feel. I will show Him my gratitude in the way I live. My soul is at peace. My heart is still. The rain washes over me and I am clean.

Thursday

It's a humbling experience getting MRI scans. I knew it would be coming up soon, but tomorrow is so quick. Tomorrow. It will be here before I know it...after my dreams and my much needed sleep. I will arise just like every Thursday, but this one will start different.  It will also end differently. I can only hope and pray for the best.  I know God knows my heart.  I also know that I will do what He asks of me. That is why it's humbling for me. It reminds me of where I have come and the journey I have ahead.  It reminds me to stop and listen harder. To block out all of the noise in this life that surrounds us, and focus on what is important. Living. The now. Family. People. Moments. Time. Reaching out. Helping others. Being. I am touched by the simple reminders of how life is hard, but beautiful and worth it at the same time. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me. Who loves me no matter what. I am blessed. Peace knocks on the door of my heart and I let it in.