Time

As I a sit here and try to process the conversation I had today with my Dr, I am overwhelmed, grateful and tired. I know, very strange emotions to feel at the same time. I think one of the hardest things for me to do is to wait for answers. It's emotionally and physically exhausting...but I keep going and we aren't giving up! After our discussion, it took about an hour to really sink into my heart and the tears came. Overall, everything is stable. My liver is quite enlarged, and they're thinking it's from some of the tumors going through the process of necrosis (dying).  They  said there are to many tumors to count, not just in my liver...but this is progress. I sigh a huge relief...and I can breathe easier for the first time in days. After Andy and I visited he said...even tho I'm experiencing symptoms and effects of this cancer. I have been given something priceless and invaluable...TIME. His words were so true! Oh, I'm so grateful for TIME! What a gift it is to be alive!  I've been blessed far beyond I could have ever imagined. Each day is a gift. I'm so happy to be living. Thank you for taking the time to send good thoughts, prayers, love, messages, and more love. God heard you and He heard me...I am grateful! Peace fills my heart and I bask in the sunlight, for it has come.

Hold On

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Tonight my heart is full of gratitude. I had the opportunity to attend a conference for agriculture and they had  Michael Mclean come and speak to us, among many other uplifting speakers. I was touched by his honesty and the love you could feel in his message and his singing.  When he sang this particular song, tears streamed down my face. His message was powerful and so true. It was as if he was singing directly to me and knew my heart. It seems I have stumbled many times in my life, but I somehow get up and keep going. The light does eventually come, and when it does, it wraps it's loving arms around me. This Monday I go in for my MRI, it is a day that I tend to dread, and worry over. It's a very humbling experience for me to be reminded again and again that I need to put my life in Gods hands.  Even though I have felt worry the last few weeks, tonight I feel so much peace. His message is what I needed to hear. I know that whatever happens, life will go on. I will go on. I will hold on. I will do what needs to be done. I will be strong, and whatever the results are. I know the light will come.

A helping hand

I've really struggled with my body the last few weeks and at times felt a little sad. I am a goer, a doer. I like to be busy and run, run, run...it's in my blood! Yet, I haven't been able to and I've had to slow down...and it's a hard pill to swallow. Certain times I've let the sadness in and it has made my heart feel heavy. I've cried out to my Heavenly Father and shared my soul with Him. Just taking life day by day, moment by moment, living the best I can. I had a dear friend reach out to me and asked me to come to a night out. While there we had the opportunity to listen to a wonderful woman speak thoughts from her heart, which rang true to my ears. Her words were just what my weary soul needed. As I left gratitude filled my heart and my spirits were lifted. I felt remembered. I felt loved. I felt needed. I felt joy. I felt peace. I was reminded that we just never know what experiences people are having in their life's. We just never know how people feel, and the struggles, they might have. We just never know. So don't judge them. We have so much to learn from each other. Let's be honest. Let's love. Let's take time for each other. Let's be real. We are all children of God. Whether we believe in the moon or the stars, the universe, have different religions. We are all human. We all need each other. We can help each other in this journey of life. I'm so grateful to be thought of in a time where I really needed a helping hand. I have renewed hope. I can do this, especially since I know I am not alone.