datestampWednesday, October 17, 2012

Wishes for you

Do you know what's hard? Watching my son act out while I'm doing my treatment...because he doesn't know how to handle Mommy being sick...heart wrenching actually.  Tonight, I silently was talking to myself in my head, after a particularly difficult day..."I can't do this. I am so sick, I am so tired, this is so hard." As these thoughts were running through my head, my boy climbed into my lap. He was happy to have me hold him...just hold him. I prayed for strength, and that I don't mess up my kids lives, from being so ill, while they are young. I want them to have a happy and memorable childhood. I wish, I wish, I wish, that they didn't have to see me like this....but that won't take it away. It's now. It's time. I'm living it...and I will make it. And, I will hold my babies more, even if I am sick...and I will do it. My best. For them, for them, and for me. Even if it is hard. I will do it. I will live it. I will be. I can do hard things. A new sunrise will come tomorrow, it will be a fresh, clean day...and I will live it. I know I can.

5 comments:

Alish said...

My sweet sweet Friend you are amazing, you are a perfect mamma to those babies they love you and thats what they will remember. they love you, your Andy loves you, and gues what I love you!!!!!

Janean said...

You are so amazing Sarah! I wish I had such a positive look on life, etc you like you do when you aren't feeling well! You are such a wonderful mom to your children and that is what they will remember as will all the rest of us!

eve said...

i don't know how it feels to be sick like that, but i can relate to wishing things were different, and not wanting to do what you have no choice but to do. it's all about choosing how you face it, and that's easier said than done. i love your attitude, and i love your resolution. you can do it! and i will pray for you. we are all trying our best, and you're right, every day is a new day. i'll be better tomorrow, too!

Scarlett said...

Oh Sarah. My heart aches for you. I admire you and love you so much. I have been such a crappy friend, and I am so so sorry. I can't even fathom what you have to go through. I hope I can see you very very soon. xoxo

Jenn said...

I don't know what to say. I am so touched, inspired and heart broken. You need a big hug, lots of hugs. I wish I could take it away. I will try and learn from your wisdom, that may be all I can do.

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